Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Let It All Go.

Today I finally understand why my brother is so
angry and hostile all the time here at work.

For the past 3 years of my life it's been "Why don't you
go back to school?" or "Why don't you take some classes?"
and I've brushed it off without a second thought.
So finally I decide to take some classes to do something
with my time other than work my ass off.
I don't qualify for financial aid so my mother (being so happy
I decided to go to school) told me if I get an A in my
classes, she'll reimburse me the $900.

I'm 10 hours deep in my deku link project and it's still
not finished so I have to finish it and
glaze eight pots by 8:50 tonight.

Not many of you know how our company works but
a wobble head photo is different than a regular package
photo and they frequently get missed when we're taking
Now if that happens whoever missed it is responsible
for going out and taking the photo on their own time.
My mother (and boss) missed TWO of them this
past weekend so my dad set me up to go and told me
he would pay me for it.
That's all well and good except that I'm scheduled to be
there at 5:45pm and my class starts at 7.
Which means I would have to miss open lab and only
have an hour and fifty minutes to finish all my projects.
I told my dad I didn't think I could do it and they both threw
a fit.
They gave me this so I could get extra money and more
experience blah blah.
If I fail the class I don't get my money, if I don't go to the
shoot they get mad at me.
If at any point we have one or two things a year that may be
more important than work it's taboo.
They tell my bother to take a few days off but if he's not here
they freak out.
I can't express how we feel and it's hard to understand unless
you work here but I can only tell you I was very upset this morning.

My brother, knowing exactly how I felt, started throwing
things around the room to show me that it's only a job.
We get frustrated a lot but we have to remember that
in the grand scheme of things it just doesn't matter.
We have each other to keep us grounded.
Just let go.
Even Britney joined in from the other room.

Everything, and I mean everything, went on the floor.
Important papers, envelopes, sticky notes, paper clips,
rubber bands, peanuts, a box of tissues, paper dots from
a three hole punch, pictures, etc etc.

In that moment, staring at that giant mess we made,
I teared up.
I had let everything go, Including control of my emotions.

Up until four years ago I knew almost nothing about my
I knew he was my brother and I knew what others told
me about him but he was married out of college.
That leaves only time for his family and none for spending
time with his little sister.
I don't fault him for that but I wish every day we had
more time together than working 9 to 5 in the same room.

Everyday he continues to surprise me.
We are more alike than any two siblings I've ever met
and I love him to pieces.

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